Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
