And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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