i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just cropdusted the office
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
