Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
