Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
