Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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