a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
