Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
nutella sex= disaster
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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