what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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