i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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