ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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