She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you win again, gameday.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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