dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
