he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
