sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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