I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
