12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
