What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
