Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
