Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm like, not good at living.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
