Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
