hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
