If i come over, it means nothing
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
