I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
