Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
