You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What a dumb baby whore.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
