So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the day after is always just damage control
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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