i permit you to call me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
