I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
