Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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