Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
