Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
