I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
there is glitter all over my balls
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
