It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
