Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
