Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
