I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm passing your future prison.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize