Small penises have feelings too.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
