Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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