I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
