The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize