i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i came on her dog
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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