Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
