Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
