About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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