More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
