At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
