Kiss
Puke
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
