You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
