I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
