I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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