Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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