remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
