It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
