just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
