I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
