SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize