you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
