Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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