Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
