There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize