dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize