i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
