All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You took a bar mat shot.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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