I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
