Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
