I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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