Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
