Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
