you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
