Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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