we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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