ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
