office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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