I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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