i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
