can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
