I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize